Hi everybody, I have not been here in years. My old user name is davea, formerly of Mesquite. Couldn't log-in under that user name so I signed in again with this name. Those old timers may or may not remember me from functions and the forum when I lived in Mesquite. I adopted Jack from GDRNT in 1002. Jack bloated and died in 2005 just as I prepared to move to New Mexico.
In 2002, I found a stray Dane in Mesquite and named him Dee (short for Diablo). I estimate he was about a year old then. He has become my constant buddy and traveling companion and just loves living out here in the boonies where he rules the ranch. Above (or below) is a photo of him taken just over a year ago. So if you do the math, he's somewhere around 9 or 10 now.
In 2007, Dee began having breathing problems, huffing and puffing after running/exercising. At first, it was just noticeable but not worrisome, figuring it was just his age. But as the years progressed, it became worse and worse. In December 2009, I took him to the Colorado State Univ Vet school where he was scoped. He was diagnosed with Bilateral Laryngeal Paralysis, basically his Larynx is paralyzed. Surgery to pull back one side of his Larynx was not an option and not recommended by the vet due to the extreme danger of aspirating food/water/etc and the likelihood of pneumonia. As it is, he has constant bouts with aspirating food and saliva so it would only be worse.
At the same time, he was diagnosed with a neurological deficit that is causing him to not know where his back legs are placed. All four legs are affected, though much worse for his back legs. The vets feel that he has a displaced vertebra in his neck, since all four legs are affected. It was decided not to undergo neurological testing and potential surgery due to his Laryngeal problems.
Over the last couple of months, his walking has degenerated to three legs. He quite often knuckles one rear paw or the other. While I was out of town and he was being dog-sat, he was nearly unable to put any pressure on his left rear leg. When I returned, I took him to a local vet who found he had a tear in his Meniscus (left rear) or ACL. The vet prescribed Rymadil (sp?) though he prescribed the wrong dosage. Once I upped his dosage to the correct amount, he has been able to walk better with just an extreme limp as opposed to not wanting any pressure on the leg.
So here is my quandary. I know many of you have had to make decisions on whether to let a Dane go or not and so have I. That doesn't make this easy, though. In addition to wanting a little feedback from those who care about Danes, I am also writing this for myself. I wanted to put this in writing, hoping that I can make an informed decision. So below, I am just going to list some things but I do look forward to any feedback.
Neurological Deficit:
lack of mobility. trying to turn, climb stairs, get on low bed/couch often results in falls. Unable to get in truck, often falls in or out. Unable to sense a clearing of feces after going, resulting in feces eventually working its way out in house/bed/couch (he is so embarrassed by this). Walks (not constantly) with one foot or the other knuckled under, cannot even sense that his foot is turned under.
Torn meniscus:
Stands on three legs, torn leg is held out behind him. Without 300 mg of Rymadil per day, cannot walk at all on four legs. Cannot stand up from lying position w/o Rymadil. Has trouble getting up with just the Neuro deficit since he cannot discern the position of his legs anyway and with the torn Meniscus, it is exacerbated.
Bilateral Laryngeal Paralysis:
His breathing is getting worse even in rest. Doctor prescribed no more travel, no walks, no exercise. Remain calm and alleviate anything that would cause him to need more oxygen. This was fine at first but even while resting, he has a rasp in his breath, depending on his position. Something as simple as jumping on the bed causes gasping - tied in with his mobility problems, if he has to struggle to get on, it is a major feat for him to get up about 24 inches. Aspiration of food is getting worse, causes coughing and vomiting. Aspiration of saliva is getting worse, all he needs to do is change positions while sleeping and this might cause aspiration. Aspirations have recently taken on a whole new "feel", with him whining like in pain.
And then there is me:
I keep having these guilt feelings over the reasons why I want to let him go. I feel like some of these reasons are purely selfish. I travel a lot and he normally goes everywhere with me. He has not been traveling since December but last week, I ended up having to go to Texas. This was his first road trip since December. He did not do well. I constantly had to stop and get him unjammed from between the seat and door and by the end of the trip, he was so weak, when he went to come out of the truck, he merely fell out.
I live alone, so he cannot stay home. A neighbor who used to watch him on the rare occasion I would let him stay at home no longer wants to be responsible. Boarding is not an option as the only kennel in this town is not to my standards. Even PetSmart refused last fall to board him due to his health. And I have to travel as early as this weekend and he will end up having to go with me. As it is, I have purposely not traveled when an option but this weekend is not an option.
Then there is the constant messes. I'm used to cleaning up vomit from Danes, as we all are since they all seem to have (at times) upset tummies. Waking up to the occasional feces in the bed is also no fun. But, personally, I am trying to finish out the remodel of this house and get it on the market very soon. The last thing is to re-carpet. I cannot justify that with his vomiting from aspiration almost every day. So I have put that off and put that off. And I need to get out of here and soon, but can't until that is done.
Another big guilt trip I am having is the monetary one. There is the option of doing surgery for his Larynx but the vet has suggested I not. There is the option of doing a full MRI and neurological workup to the tune of thousands before they would even know whether it is fixable. The displaced vertebra is strictly a guess, it could even be spinal cancer or some other spinal related malady. And surgery to fix the Meniscus, that was ruled out by the vet as well, saying that it was a 9 month recovery - totally off that leg - and Dee was too old for it, not to mention his loss of strength due to the neurological deficit. I am unable, though, to commit thousands upon thousands to surgeries and care when it is not even recommended by the vets and Dee may not be any better off for it.
So, that is kind of it in a nutshell. Dee is still totally in love with me and he is also my world. Despite all his problems, he relishes every moment of attention I give him, he wants to go everywhere with me, and he is becoming even more needy for loving. So my human mind works as usual, thinking that he somehow knows he is dying but doesn't care. I, of course, do exactly what Caesar Milan says not to do, think that a dog thinks like a human. Like somehow, he is just going to speak up and tell me he wants to go. Or he wants to stay on until his last breath. Or he doesn't care if he never is able to stand, just so he can be with me and get the pet on the head.
Am I exaggerating to make a case? He doesn't fall every time he turns or tries to get on the couch. He doesn't always aspirate his food. He doesn't always fail to get up from a lying position. If this were the case, I'd probably have no trouble in coming to a decision. And despite all of his health issues I outlined, he's strong, loving and fit. I keep saying to myself that it is just his body giving out on him. Duh. Of course it is. Why should I expect him to be something other than loving, or not have that loving look in his eyes just because he can't breath normally or walk normally?
So now I ask myself about my history with my dogs. Dee will be my fourth that I have lost as an adult. Ouische was my first Dane who I put to sleep at 13. She had a tumor or cancer that finally erupted. That is when I decided to put her down. It was terrible. I could barely walk into the vet and the vet refused to let me stay. I have always felt guilty about hearing her bark for me one last time as I left. I have always regretted not being with her when she was put to sleep and vowed to never do that again.
Chewy was an adopted Border Collie who was put to sleep due to old age. I took her to the vet for some forgotten malady and I was chewed out to the extreme by the vet for allowing this dog to live at her age. Losing her was relatively "easy" just because the doctor called the shots. Not that I could have disputed him and left, but in the back of my mind, the time had come. There was no lingering "should I" or "shouldn't I" questions like there is with Dee.
And Jack. What a story. Here we were in Mesquite, my house had sold and a house I was buying fell out. So Jack, Dee and I were within a week of being homeless. We three would be driving around the west in a pickup truck trying to find a house to buy. And suddenly one Sunday night, Jack bloated. By the time I got him to the emergency clinic, it was time to put him down. At age (maybe) 11, he would have probably not survived a surgery not to mention surviving being homeless in the back seat of the pickup and recovering from surgery. As it was, Dee and I remained homeless for 4 months until we finished closing on this house. Again, though, with Jack, there was no lingering "should I" or "shouldn't I".
Geeze, I hate this. I am hoping this will put things in a little perspective for me and I do look forward to your feedback. I understand the ultimate decision is mine and no one can make that decision but me.
Thanks to all who have taken the time to read this.
Dave